How easy it is to take out ones anger, ones frustrations, ones emotions on someone younger than them and more so ever when it is ones own child.
Yes. Shockingly, but true. Most parents, especially the mother has been seen to take out her emotions completely on the child. Whether it is something related to household work or office work, or fight with in-laws or fight with husband etc. Poor child faces it all.
Not that she deliberately takes it out on the child. But co-incidentally the circumstances crated by the child makes her take that step.
Petty issues like:
Homework not completed
Complaints from school
Complaints from neighbours or friends or friends parents
Over watching f television or video games
Playing or chatting on mobiles
Not sleeping or over sleeping
Not ready to eat nutritious food
These are common issues eery growing child parents will face. The ways to resolve them are ample, right from talking out to them, being strict, sitting with them and making them do the act etc. But the frustrated parent tries to solve them by spanking the child. Ultimately their frustration is out, but the childs issue remains there itself, unresolved. Not that by hitting the child, the child competes his food. Rater he cries and yells, which calls him for more hitting and ultimately he sleeps without food or is locked in his room. Result is incomplete task and increased frustration in the parent. And parent says, “The child is out of control”.
Sit back and think. Is it really the child or you, yourself who is uncontrollable.
Only one point which needs to be told here is that, the child is not your scapegoat. Just because he or she is apart of you, does not mean you could do whatever you want with him or her. After all the child is an individual himself, having his own identity. Just because he or she is small and cannot misbehave with older, one cannot take advantage of the situation. The more such acts are done, the more the child becomes a rebel and results in the long term growth impact of the child. The child may either submerge into his shell and become a shy unsocial child or may become a rebel, frustrated and over reacting aggressive child. What you sow, you shall reap.
Not that every-time, parents frustration is the reason. The child may have really have misbehaved,but still a punishment lack of hitting, with a reason works well in teaching the child than otherwise.
But coming back to the topic. frustrated parent and the child being a scapegoat. What can parents do to take out their emotions. Since built up energy is not a good sign. Such parents can resort to any of the following:
Evaluate the reason for the emotion
Talk it out with the person who is the reason for such an emotion
Find an alternate solution. May be ignore the person, the act
Engage in a straneous act like swimming, or exercising or long brisk walks
Engage in a hobby like reading, cooking, baking etc
Hug your child
Catch up with friends
Have the “Me” time
Start or maintain a diary
Take professional help, visit a counselor
Remember, emotions especially negative ones needs to be taken out. But taking it out on someone who cannot react or the weaker one is not the solution. As the emotion is not out of the system. Rather it just goes on piling up. Neither your child nor you are the scapegoat. Learn ways to deal with your emotions. Dealing with emotions in a proper way, is the key to healthy life