Child as a Scapegoat

How easy it is to take out ones anger, ones frustrations, ones emotions on someone younger than them and more so ever when it is ones own child. Yes. Shockingly, but true. Most parents, especially the mother has been seen to take out her emotions completely on the child. Whether it is something related to household work or office work, or fight with in-laws or fight with husband etc. Poor child faces it all. Not that she deliberately takes it out on the child. But co-incidentally the circumstances crated by the child makes her take that step. Petty issues like: Homework not completed Complaints from school Complaints from neighbours or friends or friends parents Over watching f television or video games Playing or chatting on mobiles Not sleeping or over sleeping Not ready to eat nutritious food These are common issues eery growing child parents will face. The ways to resolve them are ample, right from talking out to them, being strict, sitting with them and making them do the act etc. But the frustrated parent tries to solve them by spanking the child. Ultimately their frustration is out, but the childs issue remains there itself, unresolved. Not that by…

Ideas over a cup of Coffee

Though this is a private case, and maintaining the rule of confidentiality, I wont mention the demographics of this case. But definitely would like to share the insights of this case. My own mind blowing experience…. Being a male dominated society, though we talk of equality and not to mention, we do see women striving and at every stage being successful, but still cannot forget the underlying perception, that it is a male dominated society.In every area we do see women now leading, but in one area, where this fact has been very rarely noticed is, ” The Indian marriage System”, rather “Arranged marriage system” As it goes, even if the girl is highly educated, independent, but when it comes to arranged marriage, we still see the boys family taking the upper hand. Whether we say it is because of the customs or societal pressure, but it is happening. In a similar situation, I came across this girl, who very confidently refused a proposal when it was at the “D” day stage. Though she was confident, but heart of heart she was a little scared. She thus approached me, just to share her thoughts and getting an insight. I as…

The new me

A workshop that helped me knowing me better and from a new perspective.   Its not always how I see myself, but also How I wish to project myself to to others is important too.   The way I talk to myself, The way I perceive myself, is where all the issues lies.   NLP helps in this communication through conscious modes.  

Labels ….. Do they define the Real Me

Everywhere I go, I hear, people being called by a different name. As if their name or their being human was not enough. They have been given another label all together. Noticing these trends to be highest among well read sections of the society, especially the ones who are constantly net savvy or bookworms. Do not wish to label any particular institute or society or class of people, but surely the ones who are given the responsibility of molding the child’s future, are the ones who do play a safe game. When they are unable to help a child or they feel the child is beyond controllable measures and most importantly to play a safe game, they start labeling the child.  Parents, who are busy and wish to abide by the societal rules, then rush helter-skelter for help. Sometimes it is for their betterment, but sometimes it is just a mere waste of time. Some of the common label we hear are: ADHD: Say if the child is aimlessly moving around, disturbing the class, not listening, a little adamant, or just does not wish to listen. Slow learner / Learning Disabled: When the child is unable to quickly respond, spelling or…

One Size Fits All

A very rare and uncommon disorder spreading like a Virus these days, is, “ One Size fits all”. Not only the illiterate group, who earlier due to their lack of awareness spread this virus, but these days even the well read and highly educated people and the high class society spectrum has been severely affected by this virus. Where ever I go, I see or whatever I do, I get to hear this commonly. Its like they way we cook food at home, which is common for every member in the family whether a child or an adult. It would be fine, if left till there only, but when it comes to spreading it to the others who are feeble minded, it becomes dangerous. As said earlier, the uneducated ones were affected because of the lack of communication and reading capacity. These days its trending to be found with an internet connection. Anything unknown, Google is the answer. All sort of information whether elated to health, food, entertainment or studies is just available at a click. The click is now becoming an issue. Due to the click, people get information right in front of them in a millisecond and the…

Two Halves of the BRAIN

In general whomever we meet these days are said to be either intellectually logical or intellectually creative. Very few amongst these are highly confused where exactly do they stand. They are completely unaware as to whether they are the logical or the creative lot. When asked certain leading questions they form a conclusion to be broken when they see someone else with better traits or more so ever when they see their other side. Then they rush to Psychologists to see where or which side of their brain is dominant.     But the question here is: Do we really have two sides of the brain, then why do we say the Brain as being one entity. Which side or hemisphere controls which side of the brain?? Answers to these questions have been decoded by various top notch scientists, neurologists, dermatoglyphs etc. According to them, the right hemisphere of the brain is the Creative end and the left hemisphere is the logical and through tests they are able to guide us which area of the brain is stronger. So riddle solved. But still my question remains is there two sides to the brain.   In general, for better control or…

How to change career after 30?

If you’re unhappy in your career, then you’ve likely toyed with the idea of starting over. But maybe your fears of the unknown are holding you back. That’s a perfectly natural and positive reaction. Anyone who jumps headfirst into a new career without a bit of fear isn’t being smart.

The way to push past this fear in the beginning is to ask this all-important question: “Will I regret not going for it?” Will you look back on your life in five, ten, or twenty years and think, “If only I’d taken the initiative to start over when I was (fill in the age)”?

You have plenty of time to start over now and build a new career. Don’t live with regrets. You have to try in order to find out if you can succeed.

Parenting and Children at Risks

Children the most beautiful creation on this planet, but nurturing them to their potentials is another game on its own.

These days hearing of depression, anxiety or relationship issues, addiction issues and majorly suicidal, is very commonly heard at a very young age. When the time is for fun and enjoyment and being a matured person to handle their own issues, children are resorting to all sorts of such issues, leading to complete breakdown and don’t know whom to look out for help.

So is there an issue with their lifestyle, or is career or study the major issue or the friends or neighbors they mingle up or is parenting the issue. No particular reason can be the sole reason. Definitely it is a combination of all the factors, but if we look at it, to some extent, most of our issues are related to our good old childhood days.

Exam Anxiety

Exam Anxiety The biggest and hidden Anxiety, which all of us have faced, but majorly unaware is Exam Anxiety. It’s very very common, knowing the fact that exams and results are our biggest life hurdle we need to cross for a better future. No second thoughts on that, results are important, but with anxiety knocking at our door, can we really be able to score Few tips for students and Parents: The Last Survivor: These are students who panic at the last moment. This is not studied, so much left etc… At this time, whatever has been studied must be revised instead of running behind incomplete portion. Memory boosters: I don’t mean pills here. Memory boosters can be in terms of easy methods or clues that direct you to the answers. You can make use of chits, highlighters, placards, charts etc. These helps as a means of last minute revisions. Instead of scanning through long passage and texts, short cuts are better and such representations helps in better recall A Confederate: Find someone who could comfort you, not someone who would be poky or nosy all the time. It may be your sibling or a friend or parent or teacher.…

Depression– Deep rooted issue

Talk casually to a layman, “Do you suffer from depression, the answer will be NO”. Most of the time, people are unaware that they can be attacked by depression and may just ignore the symptoms. Not that one is deliberately trying to, but most of the times are simply unaware of it. Depression seems to be a big word and of-course not to be taken lightly. But mostly it is associated with No Mood Feeling low or lonely Giving up of activities Brooding Suicidal thoughts. The above mentioned can be points of depression, where in someone in that state needs medications and counseling immediately. But on a lighter note, a look at our daily lifestyle would indicate depression, not to what the word says, but yes, it is a symptom which needs to be addressed or else can lead to adverse effects. Some of the Daily life schedule or routine to be cautious of: Feelings of Lethargy:    Many times we hear people saying, “I am just too tired, just got back from work, just wish to sleep or take a nap. No doubt, body is tired of the whole day work, but does it mean you wish to sleep. Some…